Be happy

Today is a special day, where the word "happy" will be heard with a following word.
After an evening of gloom yesterday, I guessed things turned out for the better.

I actually didn't want people to wish me "Happy birthday" at all. Being a person who is terrible with dates (including birthdays), how can I expect others to remember and give me well wishes. So, I hid my birthday on facebook so that "only me" can see it. I didn't want to base my happiness on the number of wishes I got from people, cause I will only be disappointed. There is enough reason to be happy and I don't need to be happier. God kept me alive for 25 years. Kept me alive though I have met several mishaps in my lifetime. Kept me alive to grow and see how I can help others in small areas. That's good enough.

Just occurred to be that this period has been rather challenging for me to keep my spirits up. I am constantly bogged down by work and RnR (not rest and relax but roles and responsibilities).

My thoughts drifted to an anime episode which I watched last week.

Two sisters (goddesses) were fighting. One fought because she could not understand why her sister decided to love humans and seem to not like her. The other decide to fight because her sister was endangering the humans by using her threatening force to destroy the Earth. The fighting stopped when the elder sister something said this.

"We can stop fighting. You have a right to be happy."

It's a strange sentence to say, out of nowhere. But as I thought about it, it made some sense. All along there was so much bitterness in the younger sister that she forgot she could just put it down and choose to be happy. In her bitterness, she was blinded to the fact that she could choose to be happy.

( Just saying this can be rather easy but doing it is rather difficult. )

Revisiting this scene, I felt like I was the younger sister. Wallowing in gloom (not bitterness) and when I could choose to count my blessings, choose to be thankful, choose to be glad in God.

I want to bask in light not sulk in darkness.
There is a time for everything and I should not be down most of the time.

一宿虽有哭泣，早晨必欢呼，
祢的恩典乃是一生之久。