Recently, something unpleasant happened between someone close to me and I. I did not manage to deliver the help which I promised to this person, due to time constraints. It is scary how helping one person unsuccessfully can result in both parties getting hurt. Saying sorry doesn't lessen the suffering this person went through. Unintentional harm was dealt to this person. Hurt affects how one treat another and ignoring the "aggressor" in respond to the harm done seems understandable.
As I faced this person's cold treatment I was caught in a self-blaming state for being too incompetent / incapable to meet this person's expectation. Yea, and perhaps I should not have tried to help in the first place. I am only messing things up for this person and how my relationship with this person is affected.
All in all, I failed this person's expectation.
And as I reflected on this issue, I can't help but wonder if a relationship exists between two people because we think we are have the capacity to meet each other's needs. Is the existence of a relationship built on how capable we think each other is? Then if I happen to be a handicap won't I be of a less favorable position to forge relationships with others? (Strangely I feel like I am such a handicap)
No, we often say a relationship is build on trust. Betray that trust and that relationship will suffer. But don't humans fail sometimes and fail to help others in one way or another? Jesus was betrayed and Peter had a hard time trying to forgive himself. Both suffered emotionally but Jesus chose to forgive Peter so that he can forgive himself. He treasured his relationships with His disciples, knowing their weaknesses full well. He embraced pain and reached out to the "aggressor". Unfortunately, it is something few of us can do and will spend a lifetime to learn from Jesus' example.
This person bore some pain alone and there is God with this person.
Now I shall bear some pain alone and may God be there for me.
May time heal the wounds with your grace, oh Lord.
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