Initially, I joined NTU CF because I wanted to experience how having fellowship in campus was like and I felt it will be good to have another avenue to give me spiritual feeding. As a freshman I attended my cg and I appreciated the diversity of my group and I really enjoyed the time which we spent together. I was a prayer coordinator for my CG and interacted with PRCs in a camp (also known as SM3 camp) as a befriender.
Swiftly, time passed by and it reached the end of one academic year. I was approached by some to consider certain positions to serve the Lord in NTUCF. It was when I began to realize that I have been a little too comfortable at the receiving end thus reluctant to step up. On top of that, I felt that there was no compelling reason for me to take up more responsibilities apart from those I already have in church.
I entered a period of soul searching and praying. I read the book of Amos and it spoke to me of how much, in my complacency and comfort that I tend to neglect the cries of the needy. My previous CGL, Samantha, also shared with me on the book of Haggai and highlighted the situation that we tend to be busy over our own matters that we fail to see and take part in God’s bigger plans for us. After reflecting on those sobering reminders that God gave me, I decided to head the SM3 ministry in NTUCF.
Very quickly I found myself laboring for God. Pioneering the SM3 ministry proved to be an arduous task and there were many challenges. I had to work with people whom I was not familiar with, set direction as a leader and speak up more, all of which I was not very accustom to do. I struggled with my own skepticism as I sensed a lot of inertia pushing this ministry. There were moments where I was plagued with anxiety that I could not focus in my work even after praying and praying over issues. I felt I was really hanging to a thin line called hope and I was too weak to do anything.
Fortunately, God’s grace was sufficient for me. He sent a few CFers to support and comfort me during those periods. They helped me to better bear with the circumstances I had and to a certain extent, lifted my anxieties. Through their help, God re-assured me that I was not alone in this journey and understood that God wanted me to mold me to be a stronger Christian in the face of adversity.
I was very thankful to God that He balanced this painful process and made this process bitter-sweet. Pain aside, I found what I was doing rewarding. God opened my eyes to His glorious truth. I saw how much unchristian I was and humbled me as his servant. God used non-Christians to show me that there was a sincerity which I needed if I am to forge friendships with others. Through the interactions with the SM3 students, I learnt to better understand, listen, respect and love them better, though still quite far from how Christ loves us. Loving them turned out to be more than a choice but it also came with affections for them. Slowly but surely, God filled my heart with joy.
( “ If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full. ” ~ John Piper )
This joy, in turn, became my strength and gave me the courage to do greater things for God. One of it will be to realize the SM3 Day Out event which took place last Saturday. Though I was not very good at planning and there were several things which I overlooked and were uncertain of, God was faithful to see through all the components of this event till the end. He provided enough resources for this event to take place and I believe the helpers had a great time with the new batch of SM3 students. Praise be to God who orchestrates all things for His glory!
This is my story of my short journey in NTU CF and I hope that it did edify you all.
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