1.Definition of self-pity: The act or state of pitying oneself especially in an exaggerated or self-indulgent manner.
2.Symptoms
• Asking “why did this happen to me?”
• Having feelings of unfairness
• Making statements such as “I didn’t deserve this (bad) outcome”
• Global statements such as “I will never succeed… I always fail…”
• Having first person focused thoughts “I, me, my”
• Linked to prideAs strange as it may sound, the sin of self pity is actually closely intertwined with pride. For example, you spent a lot of effort to study for your exams and for some reason you did badly and you are upset by it, eventually entering the self pitying state. Something plausible?
The point I am driving here is that we will not pity ourselves over something with we do not prize. We tend to enter the state of self pity because we pride ourselves in something which means the world to us! (e.g. academic achievements)
With pride, we think we deserve something but do we deserve anything to begin with?
At the root of the struggle are idolatry and pride
–an exaltation of self that is evidenced by two things:
(1) an inaccurate sense of “who I am and what I deserve,” and
(2) a forgetfulness of who Christ is and what Christ has done on my behalf
• Repeatedly telling anyone (but God) how others wounded you/how bad your situation is
Victims may search for people who agrees with them or do not reject them, offering them case in their favor to win others' sympathy. Perhaps what they are doing is offering an explanation to justify themselves for self pity. The problem here is that the focus here will be on self rather than God and the needs of others will be neglected.
Here is something Oswald Chambers said:
"If we give way to self pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God's riches and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin in worse than the sin of self pity. It removes God from the throne of our lives and replace it with our own self interests. It causes us to open our mouth only to complain and we become spiritual sponges always absorbing, never giving and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous in our lives."
Here is something Oswald Chambers said:
"If we give way to self pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God's riches and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin in worse than the sin of self pity. It removes God from the throne of our lives and replace it with our own self interests. It causes us to open our mouth only to complain and we become spiritual sponges always absorbing, never giving and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous in our lives."
3. Being addicted to self pity
If every sin is a drug which can enslave a person, it means that it is possible to be addicted to sinning. The same applies to self pity. One scary thing about sin is that it can generate pervasive joy. It is possible for one to purposely act in a way which puts one in a position of hardship and somehow in the process, get a kick out of being miserable.
4. Reflection
When your friends come to you for counselling is it because you are a good counselor who aid them biblically? Or it is because your friends come to you to hear what they want to hear / not hear what they do not want to hear?
Do we bring our troubles to God firsthand?
5. Remedy
The remedy would be gospel gratitude. A right understanding of self and the saving work of Christ will produce an overwhelming sense of gratitude that will recalibrate our perspective. We will praise God rather than grumble at Him; exhibit joy rather than grow embittered; display humility and grace rather than anger and frustration. We will be God-centered rather than self-centered. We will seek to edify others instead of being consumed by our own frustrations and unfulfilled desires. Instead of seeking to be served by unloading our disappointment, we will seek to serve others by prayerfully ministering to them. In other words, our grateful, faith-filled embrace of the gospel will slay the dragon of self-pity that seeks to devour our lives.
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